LOVE ON THE ROAD
This week ZoË and train man
go mountain climbing
THIS WEEK ZOË GETS A CRUSH ON AN AUSSIE CROWE
Train Man and I are in the Outback and he's in full-on birdwatcher mode. But a funny thing has happened to our dynamic.
We're in Kakadu National Park, home of Crocodile Dundee and Australians with bad mullets. It's fascinating. We've seen Aboriginal rock art, killer crocs, giant kangaroos and birds who build nests made of sparkly objects (my kind of bird).
But the thing I can't take my eyes off is Paul. He's our guide and has looked after us brilliantly. But the best thing about him is he looks and sounds exactly like Russell Crowe. I'm close to begging him to say "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius!", but he must have heard that a million times.
Stranger still is how I've gone all giddy for him – and I don't even fancy Russell Crowe. With Paul, I find myself paying close attention when he talks, laughing at his (so-so) jokes, and putting my hand up first when he asks the group a question. At least three times yesterday my hand shot up as I answered like an annoying schoolgirl, and when I looked at Train Man, he was clearly embarrassed.
"Don't you see the resemblance?" I asked Train Man in our tent this morning. "It's a rubbish lookalike," he huffed. "I look more like Gladiator than he does," he scowled. And then I saw it. For the first time ever, Train Man revealed a flash of jealousy that made him look so mean and moody he could out-duel Maximus, out-snarl Mel Gibson as Mad Max and out-fox Hugh Jackman as Wolverine.
Just as I got butterflies from this display of manliness, he picked up his binoculars and skulked out of the tent… looking decidedly more like Bill Oddie.
Miles travelled: 1,989
Terse sentences exchanged: 3
Green-eyed monsters: 8
Next week: Zoë worries she's too old for backpacking
Comments