LOVE ON THE ROAD

THIS WEEK ZOË WORRIES ABOUT TRAIN MAN'S STRANGE BEHAVIOUR

It looks like my growing belly is due to all the curries I've been packing away – the test was negative.

Food poisoning played tricks on my mind and the Delhi-Singapore-Bangkok flight must have played tricks on my cycle.

I'm not pregnant and won't be hauling Train Baby around the world. Phew!

So we've left Bangkok after stewing in a humid panic for longer than planned and we're now in Luang Prabang in Laos, which has an amazing night market and cake shops in abundance – so I'm indulging in trinket shopping and comfort eating.

But it's not all good.

I'm annoyed with how relieved Train Man was when the blue negative symbol appeared. He actually made a fist and punched the air – like Tim Henman, only with force.

And then it struck me.

I was supposed to be happy with the result too, so why was I a teeny bit miffed to see his celebration? What if I had been pregnant?

Would I have ruined Train Man's life, or would he have buggered off to Bali, leaving me to fly home alone?

Even more worrying, though, is how he's changed since the test. This morning, Train Man went out to buy water and came back without any hair.

He looks laddy and is acting a bit Ibiza Uncovered too: it's only 2pm and he's already clutching a beer, and tonight he's adamant we go to a hideous sports bar to watch some football game.

Is this his way of telling me he's definitely not ready to be a dad?

What freaks me out most is that TM's shorn hair has revealed a different shaped head to what I thought he had. I've never seen him without slightly '70s floppy hair.

I used to call him my Box Head, but now I realise his cranium is much thinner and almost kidney-bean shaped.

And seeing Train Man from a totally different angle is making me worry about all the other sides of him I don't know about…

Miles covered: 442
Terse sentences exchanged: 3
Shock haircuts: 1

Next week: Can Zoë cope with TM's laddish ways?

Comments

[Garth Algar]

Hi Zoe,

Love the column Zoe
I can't wait for the next one
three days from today

Wait, that was a Haiku!

Garth
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