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03/29/2008

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LOVE ON THE ROAD

THIS WEEK ZOË'S FEELS MORE THAN A LITTLE QUEASY IN BANGKOK

I've been poorly and I can't believe it: I haven't been sick for years. I even survived six weeks in India with nothing worse than a mild headache.

This week we flew to Bangkok and I'm as sick as a dog. It's my very own 'Welcome To Thailand, land of a thousand smiles' – and a billion evil bacteria.

What's more troubling is that Train Man's bedside manner has been a bit of an eye-opener. Normally, he's the most caring man on the planet.

He'll always pick me up from the station, however inconvenient the hour, and he'll stroke my hair during Spooks and ask me if I'm OK (of course I am, Rupert Penry-Jones has just foiled another wayward would-be terrorist).

But as I ran to the toilet to be sick for the first time at 4am on Monday, Train Man simply shuffled across the bedroom and asked me if I was OK as he closed the bathroom door in front of him.

He did it so gently he was hoping I wouldn't notice, but he left me alone with my reconstituted Pad Thai.

When I was over the trauma that comes with being sick, I felt annoyed that he hadn't rubbed my back or said a few 'there theres'.

"That wasn't very nice of you," I croaked.

"Oh I hate the smell, hon. It's best I leave you to it, and surely you wanted some privacy," he replied. No actually.

I wanted George Clooney from his ER days, mopping my brow and stroking my hair – that's what I wanted.

So I shuffled back into bed and before I could say diced carrot, Train Man was snoring merrily. I was sick five more times that morning, alone, with the door closed behind me.

And this morning, for the third morning in a row, I was sick again. Alone. With the door closed behind me. Then something struck me: funny how this Welcome To Thailand bug clears up by lunchtime.

And that got me wondering…

Miles covered: 1,918

Terse sentences exchanged: 5 Bedside manner: Poor

Next week: Zoë puts her morning sickness to the test

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