LOVE ON THE ROAD

THIS WEEK ZOË'S AND TRAIN MAN SHARE A PREGNANT PAUSE IN BANGKOK

Train Man is sitting on the edge of the bed looking scared. I don't think I've ever seen his big brown eyes so wide.

The fact that all I want to do is nurture him and tell him everything's going to be OK might be indicative that I am ready for parenthood. Judging from the expression on his face, I'm not sure he is.

I'm 31 – prime age for having a baby, but already heading towards the 'Big Bad 35' I've learned to fear. Sometimes I look at the dimple on Train Man's right cheek and yearn for a child with one too. But only sometimes.

This trip has taken six months to plan and is a lifetime dream for both of us. We can't call it a day after just seven weeks. Besides, we have no home to return to – we've rented it out for a year. And if I am pregnant, I doubt we can travel this self-indulgently for another 18 years plus.

"Maybe I can haul my baby belly around Central America?" I said to Train Man in the middle of the night. We were both wide awake. He didn't say anything. But I had a point. We'd seen a surprising number of gorgeous Western women wearing their pregnancy like Jessica Alba, or hauling small snoozing babies clutched to their chest in a papoose.

"And you know how neurotic I am about MRSA. I bet in Nicaragua or wherever, the chance of getting it is slimmer than at home." Still nothing. Now I was really clutching at straws. "And our baby would have dual nationality."

"Don't be ridiculous, hon," was all Train Man said.

This morning he got up and went to Nottingham's finest, one of the many Boots stores in Bangkok, to get us a test. And if I'm honest, I'm not sure what I want the outcome to be. I guess I'll know in about two minutes…

Miles covered: 0 Terse sentences exchanged: 3, more fraught than terse

Blue lines? I'll get back to you

Next week: Zoë's surprised by the test results