What's your relationship with your mother or daughter like?

 Can mums and daughters be best friends? Does motherhood change make you see your own mum in a different light?

Comments

[Ann]

My daughter has not spoke to me for 6yrs. This arose when I retired. She took it for granted that I would look after her 3 children while she returned to work full time. Don't get me wrong,I love the grandchildren very much, but I had looked forward to retiring and having time with my husband to go out if and when we felt like it. We have 12 grandchildren and I felt that it wouldn't be fair on the others as I have always treated them all the same. We wouldn'nt have had the time to see them all.
Anyway the result has been that she cut herself and the grandchildren off from us and we havn't seen them now for 6yrs. I have cried and agonised over this wondering why she has treated me like this, we used to be close. Relatives have tried to help but she won't give. Are there any others out there in the same position, as I feel I am the only one. I have tried to fill my life with lots of voluntary work etc. but not a day goes by when I don't think about them.

[natalie]

i dont get along with my mum at all she has no time for me and my kids, an has never been there for me growing up or through the hardest times in my life, and id look at other girls with there mums and wish i had that bond with her, and i know it might sound sad but i dont want it doing to my children what it has done to me. and now i feel that its now or never i need to know if she wants to be apart of my family or not, i cant have her walking in and out of my childerns life any more i wont have that for my kids they deserve alot better than that they are the most important thing in my life an my children always come firs

[Maddy]

My mum is brilliant and I can't imagine having a terrible relationship with her. We're friends as well as mother and daughter and I know she is always there when I need her. I think it's so sad when people don't get on with their mothers - you only get one and should make the most of her.

[corinne]

Jasmine, have you ever thought that your mum might feel exactly as you're feeling?
I know what you're on about feeling embaressed or difficult talking to her, but get her alone, maybe go out for a coffee so that you're both on neutral ground! Ask her not to say anything until you've finished saying what's on your mind and then let her answer you, but be honest with each other.
You could even show her your comments on this forum and ask her to type in her comment, you could even go out of the room so that you both can write what you want to say in private. You could then get together after you've both finished and sit down and discuss what you've both written.
It's worth a try isn't it?
cxx

[corinne]

I think that I am lucky in that I get on with my mum. I'm 51 and she's 74.
We've had to work at our relationship, as with all relationships you have your ups and downs, but you must talk about any problems. When I was younger,I found it hard to talk to her, but as I've got older and had children, I've found that I have to talk honestly, whether it hurts or not, I don't mean that you have to be blunt, but say what's on your mind tactfully.
We're now the best of friends, she knows that she can trust me 100% and me her.
I helped her trough her breast cancer and she helped me through my Vulva cancer.
And what's more, my husband loves us both so much, he's been such a good son-in-law to her and an amazing husband to me.
But our lives are based on trust, compromise and honesty.
If your family love you as much as you love them, then no matter what you say, then they will love you. But you all have to work as a team!
Cxx

[Jasmine]

My relationship with my mummy isnt very special or good .We dont get dont really get along with each other but at times we would but its isnt a like a mother & daughter relationship thats we would like to have..We dont talk and if we do i woiuld feel a bit embrassed or feel difficult talking to her.