Terrorised by children

Have you run into difficulties with your children? How do you think it's best to control unruly kids? Do you believe in smacking? Do you think that children's behaviour is the fault of the parents?

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Comments

[Stephen william storor]

I am a father of grown up children and as our two kids are away from the home and each having there own morgages .

we did have problems with the kids when they were yonger and no we never resorted to violence we used a different style we used to get each of them when they were naughty up the wall and our faces close to them and gave them the biggest roasting and shouted .

we alsodenied them the things hey liked doing one way .
if they like PS2 ETC then take fuse out of plug they have to earn right to play on it .

[shaz b]

Children have this certain behavior for a reason - they are either spoilt or the parents are not strict enough.Some parents will let their children hit them and just say stop it but they should be more strict and they should get punished for such terrible behavior.

[JEN]

IT A DIFFERENT WORLD NOW,INFLUENCES OF COMPUTER GAMES .I GOT A SON WHO IS GOING TO BE 17 YRS.WE NEVER HAD USED BAD WORDS,NOR NEGLECTED OUR RESPONSIBILITY AS PARENTS ,WE ARE EDUCATED PARENTS LOVE OUR OWN SINGLE SON.WE DIDNOT SPOIL NOR BEEN STRICK WE LIVE NORMAL WENT UNTIL HE START LEARNING TO USE THE COMPUTER THAT WE ALMOST MISSD OUR DAILY COMMUNICATION, EVERY TIME IS TICKING.HE IS GOOD ,NICE LAD BUT SOON HE START CLICK THE COMPUTER YOU CANNOT TALK PROPER AND DONT WANT TO BE DISTURB,IN EATING HE TIME IT JUST AROUN 5-10 MINUTE IF HE NOT FINISH THAT TIME THE FOOD WILL BE LEFT AND HE RUN BAD TO HIS OWN WORDS. IN SHORT WE KEEP ASKING WHERDID WE GONE WRONG.....NOTHING NOT THE PARENT NOR THE FOOD IT THE COMPUTER WORLD THE TECHNOLOGY THAT THEY PUTTING IN THE WEB.THIS IS MOST PARENT FACING THE CRUEL WORDS OF CENTURY.NOTHING WE CAN DO EXCEPT AND HOPING ONE DAY THEY REALIZED HOW WE PARENT SACRIFIED AND GIVE EVERYTHING WE GOT TO LET THEM BE A GOOD CITIZEN AND BE PART OF THE SOCIETY

[Olayemi]

I am a mother of three. My 20mnth old baby boy likes hitting the nanny and his 5yr old sister. He bangs his head on the door,floor,wall or any hard surface if he doesn't get his way. I'm scared he is going to hurt his head very soon.

I think it is jealously over his 2mnt old sister, But i have given him my attention. it doesn't change anything. I spank his hand when he pulls his sister's hair or bites her and i also do the naughty corner thing but neirher works.

I end up being fustrated and quick tempered. Bringing up my daughter was different. she might throw tantrums or be naughty, but would listen when being scolded or corrected.

A child's behaivour is'nt the fault of the parent in all casses. Some kids are just tougher than others.But we have to learn how to manage it correctly and not let it get out of hand. I would like some advice on how to deal with his head banging. Thank you.

[Parents fault!]

Parents must give loads of hugs and always be there for the children from day one.

Be sure to put kids to bed by seven untill they reach age seven - and a quarter of an hour later for each year. Never later than 10 pm between Sunday and Thursday.

See that they have breakfast before school - listen to what they have to say when coming home. If teacher or children have bullied them. Sit down for family dinner - and not let them watch TV more than an hour a day - know what they watch.

No more than an hour internet - and let them play and share toys. So they know how to socialice. And Parents should not drink alcohol in front of kids!!!! And parents shall be polite with one another! And parents must also get enough sleep!!!! And ask at school how they behave and if they are shy or what. SO BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILDREN!!!!

[n3ptun3z]

This phenomenon of violent children and delinquent adolescents is so typical of a society where children have rights over parents and corporal punishment is outlawed. For the most of us adults corporal punishment was the order of the day and we are more or less better for it - as a child if you do not understand the importance of heirarchy then disrespect is inevitable. People keep dodging the issue but if God thought it was the right thing to smack a rude child (folly is bound in the heart of a child but the rod drives it far from him) who are we to think we know better? Smack a child REASONABLY and they will know you as a parent are to be respected and listened to - full stop!

[j. brown]

this is where society is fall down - people spoil their children instead of discipling them- children today have far too much - we should go back to the days where children were taught respect and manners and a smack on the backside didn't hurt either - now we're left with violent children and yob culture.

[Heather Yeoman]

My daughter has had problems she is some were in the Autistic spectrum ive home educated and used behavioral altering techniques. What ive found is that removing t v for a year to obtain freedom from violence and gain her attention helped. once it was back on i taught her to de construct programs to prevent her buying in to programs and adverts, knowledge is power. My main era was food and i have one thing to say its not just e numbers or the general baddies you have to watch its food intolerances . the government did reserch in to certain things and one of those things was beef and it makes people stroppy and violent. I think that they should measure the violence and its increase against the increase in burger bars mothers be ware monitor you childs behaviour by keeping a food diary you will be surprised at the results.

[Lisa]

My children have never been allowed fizzy drinks, processed food and are only allowed a small amount of sweets or chocolate after their main meal. They have NEVER been spoiled, never asked me for anything after watching adverts because I always point out how expensive these items are. Guess what - I have never had a problem with any of my children aged 10, 13 & 14. Parents are most definately to blame for their childrens behaviour.

My tips:

1. Don't give them junk food or fizzy drinks - mine drink water, milk or pure orange at meal times
2. Lots of physical activities - we take ours on long walks and teach them about the history of the area we are in to keep them occupied
3. Set boundaries - No means NO - what ever they enjoy can be taken from them as punishment and make them behave like responsible people before giving whatever it is back
4. Don't spoil them - no designer clothes, no expensive toys - teach them the value of money
5. Only give pocket money in return for doing household chores - never give them something for nothing - only ever reward good behaviour

[tcolvin]

guess u learned ur lesson a little late huh..i would imagine if u let ur child/children run over you as a toodler... i am not quite sure what u would expect from a teenager. i have to say i dont feel sorry for ur lack of using proper punshiment, or not demanding respect from ur "little tots"- im a young female with two 8 years old and maybe u were never taught u get back from life what u put into it.. u raised brats not only as ur children but people who will grow to be so-called working adults.. and lets see whats the biggest lesson u taught ur kids..umm **** up and move up...go cry with ur black eye and busted ego-- if u cant raise one desecend kid pretty please do ur self and the world a favor dont have anymore- thanks

[nikki]

hi ur such a lovely lady... nd so is your husband but to have your kids to do that to you.. uve done the right thing.. xxx

[Bon]

I'm afraid I believe this is a direct consequence of the new trend of 'not believing in smacking'. A smack should be given after a warning, I have a 3 strikes rule. 2 warnings then a smack. My kids haven't been smacked for years as they now get a 'look' that tells them to calm down and they do but they have all been smacked when they have stepped out of line.

Too many parents these days think they should be their childrens friend. It doesn't work thats why we have more kids terrorising everyone (not just their parents). I now have 3 children to be proud of because I trained them to be good citizens and I often get compliments from my neighbours about how nice they are.

[Lisa Clark]

I totally understand where these parents are coming from. I have been physically and mental abused by my eldest son since the age of 5 years old. My younger two children have suffered abuse at his hands too and my second husband has been abused too.
Social services would not take my son into care and did nothing to help because i dont take drugs, drink or beat HIM up.
My son now lives with my parents which has happened this week but it had to get to the point he was putting himself at risk. My parents work full-time but they have been my life line i dont honestly think i would have been here much longer. Social services spoke to my GP and still then armed with the information i was suicidal they still did not take my son out of our home.
Tulips has ceased it is a shame because parents need to be able to go somewhere for advice and support.
Domestic violence at the hands of your children is horrendous and it is not taken serious enough by authorities.
I would like to say i am thinking of everyone who is in this situation and hope they get the help they need.

[JC]

In a society where children are pandered to from the moment they are born and saying no is perceived as 'cruel' and 'strict', I see the results as a Headteacher every day of indulged children who think tantrums are the way to get what they want - the products of useless inadequate parenting. If children have no boundaries when they are tiny it's far too late to try to put them in later - you might just as well forget it and reap the consequences. Don't run to others in surprise and distress. You created the problem. Children are not born bullies, they are not instinctively awful. They LEARN manipulation and bad behaviour from those around them. If those tactics bring results, they become ingrained. Not only do they abuse family members, but others with whom they come into contact. This lack of respect and empathy has created a sociopathic generation who are merrily procreating and passing on their warped values to their myriad sad, materially spoilt and emotionally deprived offspring.

Give children love and time, have them because you want them and can support them, not just financially, but emotionally. Cut down the moronic TV and feed them properly, have zero tolerance of bad manners and foul language (whatever the media thinks is acceptable), train them to sleep at a reasonable time when they are babies and never make a threat or a promise you don't intend to keep. Simple ideas, but seemingly beyond the scope of most parents. Then they will be fit and ready to learn, understand the importance and value of engaging in their own education, take personal responsibility for their actions and MAY, just MAY be equipped with common sense and personal integrity to parent the next generation. Mmmm, on the present evidence, doesn't fill me with much confidence either.......

[KENNETH FOSTER]

Over twenty five years ago I said "Parents of today are making a rod for their own back regarding the lack of discipline unto their own children" well I was right and it's getting worse, because I have seen it in many a family very close to home, in fact these days if you try to discipline your children they will resent you for the rest of your life, and then when they try to do the same with their own chldren your grand children it wll be the same with them.

[Nita Jones]

I have never heard such rubbish in my life. Shame on all those so called "parent/s" who fail in their duty as parents. There is a BIG difference between discipline and Abuse. Parents shall no doubt be severely punished by their children if they the parents FAIL in their duty to instill the necessary discipline into them.