Living apart

Do you have an unusual relationship? Do you live apart from your partner but still enjoy a great relationship? Do you think people should live together if they’ve committed to a relationship and married? Do things change when children are involved?

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Comments

[LeeLee]

OK, I need to vent: I am pushing for seperate living. My hubbs and I have been married for 3yrs and living together for 7yrs. Last year, I moved out for 2 months and during this period, our relationship was GREAT! We dated and talked more. I really enjoyed him! Once I moved back in, so did the drama. He accuses me of using things like his lotions & toiletries, when in fact I don't. He came home today accusing me of using all of his fancy soothing cream. I've never touched it. So here we are, arguing almost daily over things like papertowels, toilet paper, lotion and body wash. Since it is just the 2 of us, I am scapegoated for everything in the house that goes wrong including normal wear and tear issues. Last week he broke the pump on the screen door, but accused me...argh! The house is always very clean, but if I leave a cup in the sink, he'll be mad for a few days and he won't wash my cup when he washes his dishes nor will he put my cup in the dishwasher. Yeah, he's petty about that kind of stuff. In the past few weeks, I have recommended selling the house and buying a duplex or buying 2 smaller houses that aren't far apart. He never responds to the suggestion. We are expecting our 1st child in 7 weeks and I know it's going to get worse. Get this, we have a lovely 4 bedroom house, and he doesn't want the baby to have a nursery. He feels it was a waste of time and money to paint and buy furniture because in 5 years our babygirl may not like the color scheme...is he crazy? Anything I do to spruce up the home annoys him and he tells me to stop watching home improvement shows....hey I'm only doing minor things like buying throw pillows and accent tables. To save my sanity and our relationship, we need to live apart!!! He's great in every other way, but he is a bugger to live with.

[4everfaithful]

After 10+ yrs of marriage & 4 children later, it seems that's where our marriage is headed. The question is, how to prepare for the change when there are children involved. As the wife, of the man who wants to live separate, I'm okay with his decision although it's not something I'd ever imagined...But, if it would make him happy then so be it. Any suggestions on readings/sites/forums where I could get some input from others in a similar situation?
No, it's not something I desire...but I am willing to do what pleases him. I support every decision inspite of my "emotions" about it.

[mook]

after being married for 3yrs, my husband and I never really estabished a home together, I owed the house when we were married, and he never really felt comfortable being there since it was my home.He spends 5 days a week at his moms house, this was a problem for me in the beginning,however, I've gotten used to him not being there, and we really have grown further apart in our marriage.I think any married couple should live together if the marriage is going to work. However, there are times when situations cause you to have a better relationship when you live in separate homes. Not to mention, we do spend alot of time on the phone, which is also getting old.

[Louise]

My partner and I have lived apart but together for two years now and although it is difficult when one of us has had a bad day we have found that it has helped us to become stronger. We see each other for one month after three months apart due to his working rotations and we always have an amazing time together. We speak every single day for over an hour and have found this has helped us to cement our relationship further by always speaking to one another and not turning into those couples who live together but live separate lives. When we are together we live, love and enjoy every moment. We truly have a fantastic relationship.