'I Don't Believe In Marriage!'

Have you been unlucky in love? Have you been married more than once? How was it different the second or third time around? Is marriage becoming a thing of the past or do you still think it plays an important part in society? Do you think there’s as much pressure on people to marry these days?

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Comments

[farha]

I did exactly the same thing..

I just wanted my happily ever after and I guess did not cope well with being divorced once so needed to get married again shortly after the first divorce to ANYONE as long as I was married and NOT ALONE..

I am going to turn 23 this june and I am Divorced TWICE!

And yes, I will never marry again..
The pain is too much

[kristine]

ON THE 3 OF MAY MY SON OF 20 YEARS CAME HOME AFTER BEENING OUT ON THE BEER. AFTER GOING OVER MANY CONVERSTIONS HE TOLD ME THAT HE SPENT 4 1/2 YEARS IN THE ARMAY AND HAD BEEN TRAINED TO KILL AND COULD SNAP MY NECK WHEN EVERY HE WANTED TO. HE SPENT ABOUT 4 MOUNTHS AT CATTERRICK BASE AND CAME OUT BEFORE PASSING OUT. WHEN I STOOD UP TO LEAVE THE ROOM HE CAME BEHIND ME AND TRIED TO SNAP MY NECK, I COULD'NT BREATH HE LIFTED ME UP BY MY NECK AND COULD'NT SCREAM LUCKLY MY HUSBAND WAS THEIR TO HELP ME AND FIGHT TO GET HIM OF ME.I CALLED THE POLICE AND HAD HIM ARRESTED FOR WHAT HE HAD DONE TO ME AND MY HUSBAND. HE IS A ONLY CHILD AND WAS BROUGHT UP TO NOW RIGTH FROM WRONG AND WAS ALWAYS WELL MANNERED. WHEN A CHILD OF YOURS TURNS ROUND AND DOES THAT TO YOU, WHEN YOU HAVE LOOKED AFTER HIM FOR ALL THOSE YEARS AND LOOK AFTER HIM AND HIS SONS. SORRY WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. WHEN I READ THE ARTICUL IN THE MAG YOU KNOW THAT YOUR NOT ON YOUR OWN. BUT IT STILL SHOULD NOT HAPPEN AT ALL. IT STILL HURTS WHEN YOU ARE SAT STILL AWAKE AT 3 IN MORNING GOING OVER EVERYTHING THAT YOU COULD OF DONE OR DIDNT DO ALL YOU CAN DO IS SAY WE DID EVERYTHING RIGHT AS BEST YOU CAN DO, HE DID THE WRONG.

[Lilly]

This comment is in response to Jas' comment: "What absolutes are children taught idf they only see a diet of violence, pornograghy and uncommited parents."

I am wondering how you can put pornography and violence in the same category as 'in your words - uncommitted parents'? Do you miss the point? Commitment means something different for different people, for some it's the ceremony in a church or a legal office, for others it's a mortgage and/or a life time promise in which suits them and their spiritual or life style choices - who are you to tell parents that have chosen NOT to commit YOUR way - that they are wrong and are hand rearing murderous children because of that? I find that very insulting as I've spent 12 years without a legal paper to declare my obvious commitment to my lifetime partner...people can clearly see we are committed and our children are polite, compassionate and happy compared to other families we've known, where the parents are married - and their children are running the house(not all - as all families are different and have different situations surrounding them. Which goes back to my original point, each couple or family each have their own needs and how they commitment is their business...so long as all parties are happy and don't feel trapped in a loveless commitment!

Time to face the facts, the world is a changing; I agree there is far too many occasions of bad parenting - but that isn't down to lack of commitment; it's lack of knowledge, compassion and respect.

I don't agree with putting down other people opinions, beliefs and life style choices - it's degrading, small minded and judgmental. Tolerance is a big word, perhaps if you can spell it, you could look it up in the dictionary one day?

[Jas]

For those who do not believe in marriage are selfish as they see a way of getting something for nothing and not making a commitment. Look at the chaos in the schools and childrens lives from broken homes. The fact that we as a nation are on a moral tobogan slide that makes these debased morals acceptable in the short term are reflected in the chaotic results. It is still incorrect to not get married but somehow acceptable in today's twisted morality acceptable and is a reflection on the society itself. Children - commiting suicide is up, on drugs, getting drunk having no respect for parents. The huge unmissable filth and poison of pornography rammed down the throats of children daily undermines the position of mother and fatherhood, teachers, headmasters right up to the Prime Minister and Head of State. As a youth I knew nothing of these things until 13 but todays children are loaded down with this from an early age. So respect for authority comes from a none commitment plus endless pornograghy thrown at children teens and adults. Then we wonder why Bulger happened plus many other crimes. What absolutes are children taught idf they only see a diet of violence, pornograghy and uncommited parents. The result is a debased society that is judged by others to be morally bankrupt and ready to fall. Why would they think this? The lessons of history and biblical revbelation tell it so. Think about this. No country in history has lost so much as Great Britain and remained an independent state without destructive internal warfare and revolt and take over by enemies. Look we are being taken over and our leaders are cravenly doing it.

[Jas]

Those parents who bring up children should realise that there is an easy way and a difficult way. I brought up three children now adults. all went though university, all into sports and health. I chose the easy, where I never had a generation gap problem, abuse or children running away drinking or drug problems. Those parents who ignore this are running huge risks. I brought them up with a strong belief. We never rammed it down their throats but we studied and so did they. My one daughter took up law as a result. What is wrong teaching children some absolutes bound aries and limitations from the 10 some of which are - thou shalt not Kill, thou shalt not steal, honour thy father and mother so your days may be long. Remember statistically, 44% of crime comes from children that have no belief. Even many of those that say they are Catholic or protestant are often as ignorant about the 10 commandments as those who say they have no belief. I suspect that figure for no belief could be as high as 70% if this aspect were checked on. But how often have I and many others admitted in their young and mature lives to being turned away from a course of action because we thought we were being watched by Yahweh/God.
So take the easy way of child rearing and educate your children with boundaries and limitations.

[Lilly]

Marriage isn't so much as a declaration of love anymore...it's more often than not, seen as a necessity to ensure full benefits like a widows pension, or tax discounts or because of family pressure to do so.

A mortgage and children are far more a commitment announcement than a piece of paper for most, these days, and let's face it; couples that focus on a need to 'announce' their love to the world are more likely to be trying to convince themselves that they've 'found the one'.

I've seen more divorces and couples that feel forced to stay together in an unhappy marriage than I have happy marriages!

Yes, a marriage takes work - any partnership does; married or not, as it's still a commitment if your living together - and, if along the road, you both realise it's not meant to be, no messy or expensive divorce or is waiting for you!

Married or not - I just hope you, yes you, are happy in love and have found that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

[stan]

take time to knw someome b 4 u commit to marriage