LOVE ON THE ROAD

THIS WEEK ZOË GOES TREKKING AND BATTLES A BLOOD-SUCKING MONSTER

If there are two words guaranteed to turn Train Man from the cool guy he is into the biggest nerd I know, they are ‘National' and ‘Park'. Faced with maps of trails to be explored and a compass, his Boy Scout past starts to unravel before my horrified eyes.

We're back in Thailand now. We flew straight through Bangkok after our pregnant pause there last time, and headed south to the jungle in Khao Sok. Train Man wanted to go trekking, which I am doing begrudgingly given the heat. I'm ready for the beach now.

It's beautiful here though. By day the lush jungle reveals 4,000 shades of green I never knew existed; by night fireflies sparkle like nature's fairy lights. It's very romantic. But once we're getting ready to head out for a trek, I forget all this as Train Man turns into Action Man. "Put on your walking boots! We need two litres of water each! Bring matches so you can burn your loo roll!" Burn it? I'll hold on to it thanks.

But off we went this morning with said compass, head torch and the kitchen sink, into the depths of the jungle. It was so hot, within minutes my hair was matted and I gave up all hope of looking like Lara Croft, despite my cute shorts.

In the depths of the jungle I almost started to warm to it. Eating rice from a banana leaf by the river was idyllic, until I saw a creature sucking the blood out of my ankle. "Argh!" I screamed. "It's a leech," said Train Man. "Don't panic." It's hard not to when you see an animal drinking your blood.

But the nerdy Boy Scout turned into my hero as he took out his matches and burned the bugger off. Now I have less blood, a massive love bite and a desire to get me out of here. "Can we just go to the beach now?" I begged. Train Man saw the desperation in my eyes.

Our bus leaves in the morning.

Miles travelled: 1,107

Terse sentences exchanged: 3

Mosquito bites: 14

Next week: Zoë proves she's still a party girl

Comments

[anonymous]

Reluctantly and begrudgingly?