What makes a fighter?
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2009.01.20
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a fighter is someone who has lived a life & still mananged to progress while keeping their dignity , self respect & sense of humour towards that said life....
Posted by: krista | 2009.02.01 at 10:25 PM
You heard the programe the Born Survivor i think thats me only on a simpler scale,my grandparents brought me up i know my mum never met my father until i met my childrens father he could not believe i never set eyes on him so off to Gloucester we went i was only nineteen the innocent age of my daughter now Kate who you will hear a lot more about.
when you are small it does'nt seem to bother you not having a bilogical father as you hit teens all of a sudden Bump! something strange with hormones takes hold.
My heartache started then at 17yrs old my nana suddenly passed it was the worst day of my life! i had to care for my granda look after the house plus go to work which is too much for a young person, i would look for love or lust with my relationships from then i knew it was because of my childhood i never had nobody to talk too the years fly past so quick.
My confidence was at a low my mum decided to live in London so there i was alone scared of the future i met Kevin had two lovely children if i did'nt meet him i would not have saw my father. It was very bumpy from the begining i dream it will stop one day but my life is complicated it seems, i have to fight for my rights im married now who i have a ten year old child with he is lovely.
In 2006 we had a trial seperation because of my commitments the children..i had to leave the house my husband did'nt have the backbone, in July that year it was Kate's prom day she looked lovely with her hair up and nails all done but the worst was still to come she had a convulsion in the bath missed her prom ended up in hospital we could not beleive this she never suffered these before why now, i'v had a bad time she has had a few more but the tests don't show epilepsy my life broken i feel shaken writing this it always haunts me i ask her every day if she taken medication, getting back to my marriage we gave it another go it's been eight and a half years now its so tough especially when my husband does'nt get on with Kate, it's the end of 2006 then my granda passed away i loved him so much i have'nt got time to go on but he was my guardian angel the althzimers was not nice he was independent a few years ago oh i miss him so so much but i have to be strong for my family Kate, a lovely young lady doing her BTEC national early years level 3, im proud Cameron will be doing his GCSE'S next year and Ryan will be moving up to comprehensive.
Im a fighter i know that i got anxiety from all the upset, i actually hyperventilated when i did get a little to much alchol last year i thought i was dying i only have a couple of drinks now but i don't even miss it because its done me a favour i used to get headaches with it. I live for my children they give me the love i need that i was looking for at a young age but i would'nt change them for anything im feeling 100% better now i was dizzy, feeling sick, most days palpitation sweats panic attacks i had it all, i felt what if i did try to take my life i used to think horrible things but my family got me by. I started Tai Chi six weeks ago it supposed to help with depression, anxiety, stress or just relaxation i love it i would advise other to try it because Yoga can be to hard.
So i have a hard life but as long as i feel contented, loved by all, healthy, then im happy.
I love to care for others i do a bit of volunteering for the elderly plus i work for Allied Health Care and im getting my life back slowly but surely! love Paula x
Posted by: Paula Gibson | 2009.01.27 at 02:20 PM