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2009.04.11

What do you think of Millie's story?

Do you think the Internet can do more harm than good? Have you overcome an addiction?

Comments

luna

i self harm. I belong to a what most people would call "pro" self harm forum. I'll admit it has taught me bad things, but the people there understand each other, would never try to make someone cut deeper or get worse. they promote getting help and have a section of congratulations for those who are quitting and getting help to recover!! A lot of the time people only show one side to these forums, the bad one, when there are brilliant things saving peoples lives every day there. its sad that people blame self harm on celebrities and the internet, i'd never heard of it before i did it. I thought i was the only person in the world to want to cut or burn myself. I am recovering now, but i still find it the only way i can cope with some feelings. I've been in therapy for 4 years now, and been self harming for 6. Over the years i've got better and worse, been on pro SI forums and forums aimed at helping you to stop. I don't think the forums are the cause of my being better or worse, its the world around me. The media telling me i'm fat so must be ugly, people screaming insults at me in the street that i've never even met! People Judging me all the time, and all the personal & family problems i am going through. Think before you say "they are bad and should be banned" they would be banned already if they were simply bad.

Millie

Elle - Jay - You have no reason to feel remotely guilty. I'm so pleased that you have managed to talk to your friend.

Holly - I really hope you manage to seek help, I'm not going to pretend it's easy to stop self harming, but it is a journey that is so worth it. All the best xx

Elle-Jay

When I read Millie's story I felt guilty as I used to self harm too. I confided in my friend and she helped me to stop. It was no where near as bad as Millie's and I am so pleased that she was able to stop. Hearing that such websites exist makes me feel physically sick. I have sympathy for people on these websites who believe that this behavior is normal and good. Well done Millie.

holly

milles story has helped me so much, i too self harm and have done for 13 years. I have just recently confided in someone and am getting the help i so desperatly need. reading millies story has given me the hope that one day i too can stop harming myself. thank you.

Millie

Tiff, can I just say that the from my perspective that the purpose of this article was most certainly not trying to detract from the positive, encouraging and safe websites out there.

Thank you to all of you have shared part of your story on here, and my heartfelt thanks and down right appriecation goes out to each and every one of you.

To all of the people who have self harmed, well done for breaking the cycle.

To all of the self harmers who are still self harming, I hope that one day you will find it within yourselfs to stop, and seek the help and support you deserve

As always, everyone effected by self harm and these websites remains deeply in my thoughts.

Della

I have to be honest and say that I was probably rather ignorant to the fact that self-harming is such a widespread issue. This article certainly highlighted the pain of those living with such a traumatising and addictive problem. I wish the very beautiful Millie all the best in her recovery and hope she finds peace and happiness in all she does. My opinion on the sites that promote this seem to be nothing more than cruelty and anyone with difficulties should try and speak to a friend or family member t least - I hope your article has highlighted how hideous these sites are to other self-harmers. Good luck Mille. x

Tiff

However, on the flip side of the coin, there are also self harm support forums, that are definitely not pro. I belong to one, and one of the rules of the site is that we are NOT allowed to tip share, so nobody can get worse or cut worse than they already are, unless they find out how to do it themselves. There are no pictures. The internet definitely helped me when I stumbled across this site, and the site has actually stopped me from cutting deeper or attempting suicide many times. So before you tar all websites with the same brush, think of the few that are trying to do good and stop people self harming.

GJ

I was touched by Millie's story. I self harmed for almost 7 years and it is realy encouraging to see someone who was in the grips of destruction pull themselves out and start a new.

I think that some thing should be done to prevent these websites coming to light, They are extreamly destructive and very addictive.

Well Done Millie on getting through it, I hope you carry on in your recovery.

AC

When I was reading this the other day on the sofa downstairs, I was quite shocked, I did know there was self harm websites but it's quite shocking to see that they encourage people to do it, it's sick to be honest and people shouldnt be pushing that sort of stuff onto people.

I have also suffered from self harming myself but I gave it up when i realised how bad it was but i still have scars on the back of my wrist and on my leg which i wrote '**** you die' when i was angry at someone and mine and my friends names on my leg which will be there forever and i'm ashamed of myself to be honest.

Natalie

Hey,
Millie's story was very touching. I was sat on the sofa downstairs reading the column and I was touched. It made me realise that self harming is a real disaster and the images on the pages were terrible but I am happy to know that she ahs got through it now.
Well done! :)

Millie

Hi Amy

Thankfully my recovery is going pretty well at the moment - and I have to say the thing that I found most helpful was moving away - but in relation to more common techiques I find writing and listening to music very useful.

Amy

I would be interested to know how your recovery is going, Millie, and what you found most helpful (elastic band aside). ?

I congratulate you on recovering from this however I do also want to point out there are some really well moderated, supportive websites for people to go to, to get the support they need to move on & learn to cope in better ways. Thus, not all websites promote the harsh world you had fallen into.

I too used to self harm but have thankfully recovered myself; all the best to you Millie, all the best xxx

Millie

Thank you for such an overwelming response to this issue.

So many peoples storys go completely untold, and people are left feeling isolated and vulnerable.

I know so many girls and boys, young and old, who like me found self harm out of desperation to try and deal with the thoughts in their head.

During my self harm days I was like a china doll - it really didn't take much to break me but thankfully I am so much stronger these days.

I would like to add, to anyone out there who is dealing with self harm either themselves or with someone they know, that they are not alone, and that there is help out there and I for one am more than willing to talk to you about your experiences.

You can do it!

Chris

I was deeply saddened by Millie's story as i too am a self harmer as a result of bullying, however i don't think the internet is all bad. This is just one side of self harm forums, yes there are pro-self harm sites but there are also recovery based ones. I am a member of a large recovery based self harm support forum and i can honestly say that if it wasn't for this forum i wouldn't be alive right now to type this, and i know there are many other people who would say the same thing. The internet isn't all bad. Congratulations Millie for managing to break free from the vicious cycle of self harm, you are truly an inspiration.

linda

as an adult self harmer 41 and in recovery for 1 year now i was moved by this story iam so glad she is in recovery now and i wish her all the best in her life i could realy relate to all she was talking about i was lucky i found NSHN and they helped me lots it could have been very easy to come across the other very negative sites good luck millie lots of love

Laura

It is nonsense to blame the internet. I self-harmed as a teenager, so seriously that I ended up in Casualty with 20 stitches in my arm, and then was subsequently placed in a psychiatric clinic for four months. I did not have the internet back then. Websites are not to blame for people's problems. Good luck to all those out there trying to overcome this, I am now in my late twenties and have not cut myself for over ten years. I am neither ashamed nor proud of my scars; they're part of who I am and my personal history.

Nicole

Millie's story is a tradgedy. It hurts to know thatpeople are harming themselves. Sites like that should be banned. Well done to all those people who have the confidence to open up and tell somebody. It shows signs of braveness. Everybody should be proud of how they are. Big or small. Fat or thin. Glasses or no glasses they are special.

Millie

Thank you for all the positive responses.

Sadly I know that I am not alone in the feelings of deep despair that surround self harm.

MP, as you know for me it was an alternative to suicide as for a long time I felt so out of control emotionally, and it was the only thing at the time that I felt I had control over.

I'm so honoured to have the friends I do, and without them I wouldn't have had the courage to speak out, or to stop.

It is a dangerous, sad, desperate act and one that needs to be addressed immediately if more people are to get the help they need and deserve.

Cassie

Millie's story pulled my heartstrings & made me realize how dangerous the internet can be. Those sickening web pages could of stolen Millie's life if she had no sense in her. But luckily for Millie, her family & her friends; she did have sense in her & did the right thing. I idolise Millie's final decisions & I hope she lives up to a very happy future. Block the bullies out, don't let them in because that's what they want.

M

I thought it was a very good article, highlighting the dangers of the internet, and what it can do to young impressionable people. I personally have known people who have been in the same situation, being abused by such forums, which eventully lead to them trying to commit suicide. Thankfully they are now recovering.
However, as a young self harmer myself, I logged onto the same forum that said girl was on, a few months after she stopped.
It has totally turned around, introducing strict rules against talking about various 'tools', posting possible triggering images like the ones you used in your magazine, and talking about ways to self ingure. It has also introduced a fair point system to control these rules aswell.
I would like to say that it is a warm, supporting enviroment, where I am finally getting the love and help I need.

Sarah

Millie's Story, Although Older Than Me, Seemed To Echo My Own In Some Respects. I'm From Stockton Too, And Could Really Sympathise With Everything She Said. I Didn't Log Onto Any Self Harming Websites, I Refused To Acknowledge What I Was Doing To Anyone Other Than Myself, But Agree That The Internet Leads Too Many People Down The Wrong Path. Young, Impressionable People Are Exposed To So Much Through The Media; Knife Crime, Eating Disorders, Self Harm, Drugs.. The List Goes On. But We Surely Must See That All The 'perfect' Models We Surround Ourself With, Are Not Rolemodels.

Millie

This might be my own article but it still makes me cry reading it, I think that there should certainly be a campaign to stop them, they damage, destroy and steal lifes from many people. Its not fair, and they are awful

Thanks =)

MP

Sadly Millie is not unique. Self-harm is very wide spread, especially among girls. Social and educational levels are no impediment to this problem. I have even known young people who were top Cambridge students who were habitual self-harmers. It is not something that can be stopped by legislation or even personal pressure. In some instances it is an alternative to suicide. It is time that this problem was more widely recognized, and that way more resources and training were put into place to cope with this tragic problem. Well done Millie for coming out and helping to expose the damage done by these very negative websites.

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