Should you forgive a Love Cheat?

We all felt Cheryl Cole’s pain when her husband Ashley was accused of cheating on her.

So should a woman whose partner’s been unfaithful give him a second chance – or cut and run? Does being in the public eye make it harder for Cheryl and Ashley? Do you think if you take back a love cheat he’ll cheat again?

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Comments

[RLVJ]

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I've been with my boyfriend for a year and we absolutely love each other to pieces.. but for the last 3 months of the year he'd been acting really strange and was slowly cutting me out, by like not texting me back and never inviting me round to his for tea like he used to. I found out on the 21st of december that he'd been cheating on me.. i confronted him about it and he lied straight to my face, and made me believe that i was the one in the wrong and i even ended up apologising. The day after, after my friends had done a lot of detective work, i found out he had cheated with a further 3 girls - all one night stands. I was absolutely heartbroken and was physically sick.. however the only person who could soothe that feeling was him. I couldn't sleep without him being led next to me and couldn't wake up without a text from him. My friends were telling me to leave him.. but i thought long and hard and decided that its taking 10 friends to make me leave but only 1 of him to make me stay. So i decided to stay with him.. I love him so much. Now, its a month on, but we've really changed. When i get paranoid he lets me call him up and we talk a lot more about things and have started finding ourselves again.. we go out for meals and drinks and even just stay in and cuddle. Taking him back is one of the best things I could have done, because it made both of us think what we have and what we could have lost. He's also grown up with the past month, and he's a changed man, and i can see it in his eyes. I can't tell any one of you to take him back or dump him, because at the end of the day, the decision is down to you.. and only you can make that decision. If he is one bit decent, he will give you time to decide, because you need all the thinking time you can have. I have come out of this a stronger woman, and my boyfriends done us both a favour, because its made us put each other into perspective more... lifes too short.

[laura]

well 19th dec my boyfriend came home on leave the 20th dec he went into town and got me a ring and asked me to marry him and i said yes, then sunday 21st he was been alittle off with me but i just got on with stuff, then at bed time he said im going home to see mum and dad in the morning but i will come see you in ten days, so i said ok cool, the 22ed dec he got out of bed and i never got a good morning or a kiss, so that got me thinking what is he playing at , well to cut a long story short, he went off and stayed with his other girlfriend for christmas and new year, and he ignored me till 31st jan over 4 weeks and the butt hole said laura im sorry i hurt you and i was cheating on you , and i said i know and she is welcome to your sorry butt, and he said please can we be friends and i said not a hope in hell , and now im happy just been single and having fun with my mates

[Dot]

Get rid cause he will do it again. I found out a couple of months that my hubby was cheating on me. He said it was a mistake and he was sorry and it wouldn't happen again and that he loved me. Like a fool I gave in only to find out last night that the women in question is a prostitute and he had been paying her whilst moaning at me about the household bills. I have spoken to this women on the phone and I am disgusted by the lies he had told her about me. I suffer with very bad health and, because I couldn't do it, he paid over and over for someone who could. The women in question is now writing a statement for my solicitor and I'm getting rid. Best move ever. He's a lying, cheating piece of scum and has now done the same thing to me as he did to his ex-wife.

[violet mccoy]

i dont now if i would for give my love if he says he wont do it a again then maybe i would for give him.it would be hard to for give him.i just dont now if i will.but i love him so much.if he said he would not do it again i would for give him so much.because i love him.

[claire]

Ofcourse he will cheat again and to be honest in my opinion, people who take back cheating partners are asking to be cheated on. Sounds harsh but I believe in the old saying: "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". ~I am particularly in the way Cheryl Cole has thrown away her dignity in taking back her love rat as celebrities in any stature are idols to the rest of the public including children who will growing up believing it is okay to cheat as they will get away with it, they will be forgiven easily.

[Shannon Hamilton]

I was reading through the faboulous mag and came accross the page should you for give a love cheat.The day before i read it i found out my boyfriend spencer was cheating on me with my best mate bex.I was really upset and didn't no what to do if i would forgive him or not but then i got a text saying shannon sorry you are dumped i decided to ring up my best mate bex and ask her if it was all true she said i can not lie to you shannon yes it is.I was devestated i didnt no what to do because i loved spencer so much and we both said we would be together forever i should have knowen that is never true.I have had many boyfriends but spencer was the best i could trust him and i have never let any boy in my house to meat my mum but he did.I dont no even if i should forgive my best mate any more because deep down i hate her but she is still my best mate.

[Ali]

My husband cheated on me several times starting just a week after we were married, it took me 2 years to be sure that's what he was doing and we parted, 6 months later, I realised I still loved him and wanted him back, so, we tried again, it wasn't the same the second time round as we went straight back into a full blown living together relationship and I still hadn't got over the hurt. Anyway, we tried for 3 months and I couldn't get past the mistrust thing, so we parted again, we divorced in October last year, I have to say he agreed to the divorce as he thought it was what I wanted, he kept telling me he was so sorry for the hurt and pain he had caused and he would do anything for me but he couldn't take back what he had done. I've had almost a year of living on my own with the kids, and to be fair, my ex has kept to his word, he's stayed away like I asked, he has contacted the kids directly (although they're not his they think of him as their dad and I have no problem with that) I have dated, other men, I have enjoyed the singleton life going out with my female friends, but, and it's a huge but, I still love my ex husband and we have recently talked about giving it another go, but this time, going back to dating first. He has to learn he can't cheat and lie like he did and I have to learn to trust him, being realistic we both know that it won't be easy but when we were happy prior to getting married, it was the best relationship I have ever known and it seems like such a waste. We have discussed where we think things started to go wrong, neither one of us is selfish enough to think the other is solely at fault, maybe I could have been different, although he has never suggested that I could, I think I need to look at why he felt the need to get his ego boosted elsewhere and maybe he needs to look at why he felt he needed an ego boost in the first place. Anyway waffling now, just wondered if anyone would be prepared to wish us good luck or do you all just think I'm mad?

[chloe smith]

never ever forgive a love cheat, they do it once and they will do it again. it has happened to me before and i trusted him, but he did it again. NOTICE TO ALL GIRLS WHO HAVE BEEN CHEATED ON!!: GET YOUR REVENGE WHILE YOU CAN, FETCH YOURSELF ANOTHER MAN AND TRY AND MAKE THEM FEEL JEALOUS!!!

[kerry price]

I dont think tou should forgivr your love cheat because if they have done it once they will do it again.

[Rebecca]

my boyfriend cheated on me with his best friends girlfriend when he was away with her. They had gone away on a study trip with school and it's been nearly a year...i forgave him and even though it took me a while to forgive him and i still think about it...i wouldn't change forgiving him becuase now we are the happiest people in the world

[Noreen]

Sorry ladies I was the mistress of a married man for 18 years he didnt dump me he died 6 weeks ago, I suppose I feel really cheated myself he always promised he would leave the wife he never did, so beware ladies dont go out with a married man.
Now I have to start again, where I start God only knows, my lover was a wealthy man from a well to do family in yorkshire and now Im desolute, penniless and 18 years older, but yes I still love him.

[Caroline]

My ex husband cheated on me so many times through out our marraige,he even got two other women pregnant,all of which i let him away with,we had five children ourselves but it wasnt enough for him,the more i done for him the more he treated me like dirt,after years of taking his abuse and cheating i finally realised i had enough,all men that cheat the once will do it time and time again...dont give them the chance to do it,

[cath]

I found out last June that my partner of 5years had been cheating on me with swingers. It took me weeks to get him to admit to what he'd been up to even though I had emails and photos. He begged me not to kick him out and he even asked for me to go to relate with him, which I did, but like Louise, I was left frustrated because he refused and still is refusing to explain why he did it. He keeps telling me how much he loves me and how sorry he is, his even had the front to ask me to marry him. He thinks everything is a bed of roses at the moment, but its not, i'm just waiting for June to arrive and his gone, Ive told him I've planned a big surprise for him on his birthday, I have, but not one his expecting, when he gets home from work his going to find all his belongings dumped in his car all the locks on my house changed. Yes I could tell him to go now, but I want him to suffer, I want him to think his got away with doing the dirty on me and then bang he finds out he hasn't. So till June arrives I shall be playing cat and mouse with him and i'm not being the mouse.

[Lorraine]

My hubby of 16 years had a fling in sept 2006 for 3 weeks,we had a baby of 9weeks old at this time!!!i'm trying to get over it,i am still so angry with him,he doesn't like to talk about it as he says he hates himself for doing it,at the time he told me they where only friends,they text and talked all day even whilst i was upstairs with our two children,he told me they met up 3 times for a drink and have shared a kiss!!he has had no contact since i found out,i know this is true because i check his phone bill,he has also changed his number so she can't get in touch.But still this is destroying me,i get stressed and angry,i cry when no one is around,i look at him and wonder if i love him enough because my feelings are turning slowly to hate,i don't trust him anymore,if i knew where this women lived i would almost definatley trash her car or her!!i did speak to her in the past about what happened she said they where just friends and to take each day at a time,great advise to give after she has blown my world apart,if they where just friends why did they not tell me at the time and did it behind my back?If it wasn't for our two children i know i would have walked away by now,but i do have their feelings to consider....

[Penny]

I read your article yesterday and, having being in the same situation as the first lady i understand what its like. I found out just before christmas that my boyfriend had had a one night stand in the first year of us being together. He said he'd got drunk after we had had o row and it just happened. At that point we'd been together nearly 3 years and i was devastated, i just wanted to die. This was the man i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We were even looking at buying a house together when i found out! i left him for 2 weeks and in that time i did a lot of thinking about us and what i wanted for my future and i realised i couldn't live with the regret of never knowing what our children would be like or our lives together. We'd done so many fun things together and i could go on not ever having that again and i took him back. it's been the hardest few months of my life but we'v struggled through. He said it was a one off i believe him. He told me things that i don't think i would have needed to know but he did and thats why i believe him and am learning to trust him again. Its amazing how all that trust nad love you've built up over a number of years just suddenly changes to hate because i did hate him.
As for cheryl and ashley its a lot different, their married and been together a lot longer when he cheated. All i would say to cheryl is do what you thinks right for you. Yes theres the worry of if he does it again but i have that and thats a risk iv taken but if shes like me, wondering what the future would be like with or without him i would say go with what looks brighter for you. It takes time. a lot of time but in the end whatever you decide its got to be what you want and if you can forgive.

[michelle]

my husband did it to me with his cousin of all people! its very hard to trust and forgive and after 2 years of trying to keep my family together i have decided enough is enough.

[sheryl]

"When someone is important to you, why should you lose them to save face?" claimed Emma Bartley, Well he didn't feel you were important did he Emma??!!

[hez]

I wudnt take ma boyfriend bak if he cheated, i'd tell him 2 go bolt!!!!